Getting old sucks
6 Apr
Once, when I was 15, a boy I had a crush on told me if I could do a full split right then and there, he’d make out with me. I don’t know what’s sadder, the fact that I took on that wager (and won), or that I couldn’t do a full split right now if the payout was a billion dollars. Getting old sucks.
But I’m not that old. I’m not so old that I’m pricing out plastic surgery (though my boobs could use a lift after breastfeeding three) or counting gray hairs (yet). I’m lucky that I haven’t yet reached that place where I’m sucked in by marketing campaigns that promise “anti-aging” therapy.
In the first place, it sucks that we’re the kind of society that frowns upon natural aging. But worse yet, millions of American women are being duped daily by these false promises.
Take the “Olay® Total Effects 7-in-1 Advanced Anti-Aging” body wash which was sitting on the shelf of my mother’s shower this morning. (By the way, my mother looks ten years younger than her age, always has.) The seven in one, I’m assuming, refers to the promises listed on the back of the bottle.
1. Improves elasticity
2. Relieves dryness
3. Deeply conditions skin
4. Brightens dull skin
5. Evens skin tone
6. Smoothes rough skin
7. Minimizes the appearance of dry lines
Not only are those features repetitive, they are…WAKE UP…false claims. aka Bullshit.
Let me now list for you the top seven ingredients as listed on the back of the bottle. If only you people spent as much time reading and agonizing over the ingredients as you do getting lured in by marketing copy positioned to make you feel like a dried up old hag.
Ingredients:
Water
Petrolatum (Petroleum-based. Restricted in EU cosmetics for high human health concerns)
Mineral Oil
Sodium Trideceth Sulfate (the sodium salt of sulfated ethoxylated Tridecyl Alcohol…aka What the fuck is that?)
Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (a known skin irritant and potentially carcinogenic)
Sodium Lauroamphoacetate (potential allergen)
Sodium Chloride (potential toxin)
Sure, further down the ingredients list you have fancy names for Vitamin E and a few Vitamins Bs. But, honestly people, WAKE UP, look deep into your heart and tell me whether the following statement is true or false for you.
“I am using beauty care products with ingredients that could potentially cause me harm or kill me because I do not take the time or care enough to learn about the ingredients I am putting on my body. I only care about how it smells and what the label promises.”
And then ask yourself why you answered, “True.”
So, I’ve cut out high fructose corn syrup, eliminated artificial sweeteners and hydrogenated oils, I’ve got my grass-fed cow on order and eat a lot of gluten free foods yet I’m still admittedly using Oil of Olay! WTF….thanks for the wake-up call! Any suggestions on good body care products (specifically night and daytime moisturizers)? Thanks!
You’re welcome! And none of us are perfect (or at least I haven’t met the picture of perfection yet.) Let’s all just be conscious, that’s all I ask, really. The Environmental Working Group’s “Skin Deep” Cosmetic database is a great resource for safe products (or to find out exactly how bad the one you’re using really is.) From there, it’s trial and error with the non-toxic stuff.
As for a daily cream, I don’t have one I love just now, but I’m sure other WB readers might have some suggestions.
Just as with the commercial dishwashing liquid, laundry detergent, shampoos, etc. and you (WB)with the bathroom air fresheners: I can’t stand the smell of the synthetic skin products.
The nose, knows.
Have you ever seen your baby turn their nose up at a new food/smell? That’s a(nother) survival mechanism that our culture beats out of us — we have normalized synthetic odors and trained ourselves to prefer them. At our own risk.
I love Weleda’s Calendula Face Cream.