The Wellness Bitch

So, yesterday I bitched about people who complain that healthy food is more expensive. I put those people in their place, didn’t I? Snap!

What about group two? The people who think they are smart and healthy shoppers because they go to Trader Joe’s?

“What? What am I doing wrong, now?” I can hear you say through the screen.

Trader Joe’s isn’t a health food store. They’ve simply done a brilliant job as branding themselves as such. And, created a cult-like following of which I used to be a part of. So, for that, I wish to extend a hearty “bravo!”

Trader Joe’s does live up to its reputation for bargains, though, and I’d be lying if I pretended I didn’t shop there. (Number one I admitted to it twice last week on this blog. And number two, I’ve run into some of you there.) You can definitely find healthier foods for cheap at Trader Joe’s. Some examples include organic produce and meats, as well as brand name foods that are more expensive at Whole Foods, such as Applegate Farms brand lunch meats or Kashi cereals.

However, WAKE UP,  if you think shopping at Trader Joe’s automatically means you are buying healthy food for your family, you are wrong.  If you think you can trust Trader Joe’s to weed out the bad crap from the good, you are MISTAKEN.

For the most part, Trader Joe’s offers fancier versions of the frozen meals you get at your average grocery store. The aisles are lined with processed and packaged foods. Shop at Trader Joe’s and you’re likely not coming out with a lot of whole food. You’re leaving with boxes.

Furthermore, Trader Joe’s cannot be counted on as a regulatory body. Meaning: You must read the label. This is true for any grocery store, but Whole Foods (and I swear I do not work for them) is pretty responsible in choosing foods they can stand by. Trader Joe’s does not have the same reputation, and in fact, has gotten a lot of shit from environmental groups for less than stellar sustainable practices.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my irritation that the Morningstar brand of vegetarian-friendly food contains so much toxic shit now, you might as well be eating meat. Well, guess what? A whole freezer section at Trader Joe’s is filled with Morningstar.

I’m not here to convince you to stop shopping at Trader Joe’s. I’m here to WAKE YOU UP to the fact that no one is going to do the hard work for you. Not me. Not even Whole Foods or the reputable, independent health food store, and especially not Trader Joe’s.

The cost of counting on someone else to do the hard work for you is a lot higher than the $2.59 you might pay for a pound of organic apples at Whole Foods.

Do I need to spell it out for you?

Y-O-U-R     H-E-A-L-T-H.

My friend Cat @Consume This First reminded me today of a major pet peeve of mine: People who complain about the cost of shopping at health-conscious stores, such as Whole Foods. These folks tend to fall into two categories. Those who balk at Whole Foods (or stores like it) completely, claiming they can’t afford the “high-priced” products offered there. Or, those who proudly state they supplement their weekly grocery shopping with a trip to Trader Joe’s, therefore assuming they are both health- and budget-conscious.

Today, we tackle group one: Those who say shopping weekly at Whole Foods is too expensive for their family.

FACTS: There are six people living in my house. All of them eat. And, I am responsible for the weekly (or usually bi-weekly) grocery shopping.  I shop at Whole Foods mostly, with an occasional supplement at a local health food store, the farmer’s market (in the summer), or Trader Joe’s. I spend $160 – $220 a week on groceries. I average around $190.

When I used to do my shopping at Shop Rite, for what was then a family of four, I spent an average of $120 – $175. At that time, I didn’t buy organic produce, meat or dairy.

Every time someone complains to me about the high cost of buying organic or the high cost of buying products with sensible, non-toxic labels, or the cost of being mindful about what your family eats, I wonder (but don’t often say out loud), “Really? Have you tried?”

It’s such a ready-made excuse. It’s the type of thing you say to get someone off your back, because no one is going to ever question how much money you make or whether or not you can afford something. When you make it about money, people back off.

The truth of the matter is, you can shop for a family of six at a health-conscious grocery store like Whole Foods. Whole Foods has an inexpensive line of food that is the more healthful version of what you buy at your “cheaper” grocery store. Try comparing the price of Whole Foods’ 365 brand Organic Morning O’s to Cheerios.

You won’t get an argument from me that organic meat and dairy will always be priced higher than the crap you buy on sale at Shop Rite. But that’s a discussion better left for the day after you finally sit down to watch Food, Inc.

I have a lot of compassion for folks who want to make a change, but feel stopped by cost. I am one of those people.  But, before you assume that money is an obstacle, I ask you to make a go for it. Experiment. Put your money where your mouth is.

I am so committed to making a difference in your life that I am writing today’s blog post from my bed, sick with a bad cold.

What? You still can get sick even when you’re paying such close attention to your health and wellness? Even when you take vitamins and eat organic? Even when you practice yoga and find quiet time for peaceful meditation? Even when you have a strong immune system boosted by happy thoughts and herbal supplements?

Yes, you can. Particularly if you love and live with three snot-nosed kids, two of whom have not yet learned to cover their mouths when they sneeze. 

The one great thing for me about getting sick is that it’s the only way I actually slow down. I’m the person who only takes a sick day when I’m really, truly sick. And I don’t take it lying down. As you can see by this blog post, I do my best to take it standing up. (Man, you people have filthy minds.)

But feeling crappy like I do today reminded me of something I wanted to share with you, but have not yet. Remember my husband? The Zpak addict? I’m proud to say that earlier this month he got a cold, that turned into sinus pressure. His typical reaction would be to call the drug dealer, I mean the doctor, to request an antibiotic. Well, this time he decided to ask me, “What should I do?”

I said to him: “Really, honey? You’ve lived with me this long. You’ve heard me bitch a thousand times about this topic. You really don’t have an idea as to what to do?”

I know. I’m a ballbuster.

He called the chiropractor who told him to up his water intake and Vitamin C.

That’s it? My husband said. That’s all he can do for me?

There’s no magic bullet, love. You got a cold. Let it run its course. That’s what people did in the days before Pharma infiltrated our minds and TV sets.

So, he did. And two weeks later he was still complaining about some remaining congestion. “When is this going away?” he complained.

 Dr. Sears reminds us that a common cold can last anywhere up to three weeks. Doesn’t mean you’re going to feel like crap that whole time, but that’s your body’s natural way of dealing with a virus or infection. Yes, sometimes, you need to get checked out by a doctor to make sure it’s not bronchitis or pneumonia. But, I think most of us have forgotten how to have colds.

Tuck yourself into bed for a day or two with some hot tea and catch up on our DVR-ed t.v.

(Or, bitch to your legion of fans who couldn’t survive one day without a new post. wink. wink.)

So you think you saw me at Trader Joe’s last night buying Tofutti Cutie’s even though the ingredients list corn syrup solids (a cousin of High Fructose Corn Syrup)? Uh-uh. That wasn’t me.

Oh, you think you saw me at the drive-thru at McDonald’s last month buying my kids a Happy Meal, even though I on-goingly decry the crap here and IRL? Nope. No way. Wasn’t me.

Really? You saw my daughter toddling around in a disposable diaper the other day at the park, despite the fact that they are toxic to her and the environment? Couldn’t have been me.

You know that woman? The one who looked a lot like me, eating a waffle at the diner? Probably an evil doppelganger.

News Flash. It was me.

Don’t be ashamed of your choices. Own them. We’re all on the path; even though we may be at different points along the way. The most important thing, in my humble opinion, is that our actions are conscious and intentional. Even if that means, “I intentionally choose fast food for my kids today.”

Making a conscious choice about McDonald’s may look like this: “I choose feeding my kids shit today because it’s not something I do all the time, it’s an act that will make them feel like a normal part of society, and it means a lot less cleaning up at dinner time tonight.” 

Or making a conscious choice about cheating on your gluten-free, sugar-free diet may look like this: “I know that gluten and sugar turn me into a raving bitch. I know if I eat this I’ll likely end up on the toilet in 20 minutes. But today I feel like indulging my taste buds. I’ll eat it today because I’m confident I won’t choose it tomorrow.”

It takes a pretty powerful person to make intentional, conscious choices. Even when you’re choosing crap.

The grass in your lawn may be greener than mine, but it’s also poisonous, so there!

Just like the lemon-fresh scent you love to smell in your ultra clean house, luscious green and finely manicured lawns are a suburban curse. And worse yet, you have some clue that that chemicals they use to make your lawn look good are bad for your kids and your dog (ever notice the warnings signs sticking up out of the grass?). Yet, you continue to use them.

Isn’t it cute when your kid puts a blade of grass in his mouth and tried to whistle? WAKE UP!

There’s nothing cute about the fact that he’s sucking on powerful herbicides with known links to brain cancer, leukemia, developmental delays, and reproductive organ deformity.

Or, how about your asthmatic child rolling around in Roundup®, a known respiratory irritant?

What about the fact that it’s been shown that nursing mothers exposed to pesticides excrete it in their breast milk? Mmmm….yummy.

And, don’t forget about the water runoff. Yes, a topic for another day. How pesticides contribute to the nasty concoction that is our drinking water.

It’s pretty simple. #1: Stop using pesticides. #2: Use organic replacements instead or ask your landscaper to.

In addition to being a billion times safer for you and your kids, it’s actually cheaper too.

TIPS: Beyond Pesticides. Go au naturale.

Thanks to Alison, a wellness bitch in her own right (even if she won’t admit it), for sending this interesting tidbit my way.

As you know, I think there oughta be a law about artificial fragrances. The older I get, the more convinced I am that I’m going to have to buy a bubble suit to live in because I CAN’T BREATHE. I was at a party the other day and there was no place for me to sit. Everywhere I walked sat an older lady wearing a strong perfume. Combine those overpowering, inflitrating scents with the bombardment of spring pollens and you get one miserable Wellness Bitch.

Well, interestingly enough it turns out, if I experienced this in my workplace, I would have the right to complain AND see prompt results from my complaint. According to this article, chemical sensitivity is a disability, which makes employers “legally required to make reasonable accommodations for those employees who bring this limitation to their attention.”

Apparently, according to the article’s author, one highly publicized case involved the City of Detroit and one of its employees, who repeatedly complained about fellow employees who refused to stop wearing strong perfumes and using plug-in air fresheners. This employee sued the City of Detroit under the Americans with Disabilities Act after the City allegedly refused to accommodate her multiple chemical sensitivity.

Guess what? The City settled with the employee for $100,000.

So…if you’re like me, and you’ve been (WAKE UP!) suffering too long with coworkers who think that the smell of fake gardenias is going to cover their B.O. or use too much Febreeze in the ladies room trying to cover up the smell of their fast food lunch, TAKE ACTION.

Your complaint could be worth $100,000.