Clown

Ever since I first tried on my mom’s Clinique-brand blue eye shadow in the fifth grade, I’ve tried to make makeup work for me. To no avail.

I was never very good at applying it, at picking out colors or shades, or using it to my advantage. I was really good at making my lips look cum-alicious in Junior High with lipticks from L’Oreal named “Zinc Pink” or “Silver City Pink”, but as a kid makeup made me look like a whore and as an adult like an aging movie star (and by aging I mean blind.)

It doesn’t help that I’m also super sensitive to most makeup. The day before my wedding, I went to the makeup artist for a practice session. And good thing I did. I broke out in hives so bad that I would have been better-suited to marry The Elephant Man.

Since then, I’ve managed to find one brand whose blush and eyeshadow I can tolerate without swelling up or choking, but that’s about it. I know this is due to the fact that most makeups ARE POISON. As those of us who are health-conscious know, most beauty care products contain cancer-causing, hormone-altering chemicals. Somehow it doesn’t stop us from using them!!! (You know I mean you!)

It’s bad enough we’re using them; but think about the impact on our pre-teen daughters.

A few years ago, the “Teen Body Burden Study” found 16 toxic chemicals in blood and urine samples from 20 teen girls from eight states and the District of Columbia, aged 14-19, including preservatives, fragrance and antimicrobial compounds. Many of these are linked to serious health risks in lab animals, even at low-dose levels.

There are plenty of makeups (even some worn and promoted by celebrities) that are chemical-free. I can’t vouch for any of those because most of them have nut oils, and we don’t do nuts.

WAKE UP: If your teen is spending her allowance on makeup, you might want to monitor what’s she’s got inside that Walgreen’s bag.  Furthermore, if beauty is your thing, remember: your skin is porous. You’re not just painting your face, you’re sending that stuff into the bloodstream.