It's a jungle out there
22 Jun
I was half watching some MTV show the other day and saw a commercial for “Nair.” Any girl who went to summer camp or lived in a dormitory at some point probably experimented with Nair. It seemed like a much better alternative to razor burn, right? I won’t say who exactly, but someone I know very intimately once even tried using Nair on her eyebrows because she was sick of the pain associated with waxing. This despite the warning on the box that says, “Don’t Use Near Eyes or Mouth.”
We women have it rough with all this hair removal crap. Why in this modern society we’re still expected to shave our pits, wax our lips, and see the Brazilian at the salon for “down there,” I don’t know. But most of us still conform. At least I do. (Though, since I got married, I tend to get a little furrier in the winter. Keeps me warm and all that.)
But Nair? After I saw the commerical, I chuckled nostalgically, surprised that Nair still exists. Then I realized, “Wait a minute. If that shit can zap your hair away in less than five minutes, it must be seriously toxic.”
According to Wikipedia:
Products such as Nair often combine softening agents such as mineral oil to help offset the harsh active ingredients. Some of the important active ingredients are Calcium Hydroxide and Sodium Hydroxide. Calcium hydroxide, traditionally called slaked lime, hydrated lime, slack lime, or pickling lime, is a chemical compound with the formula Ca(OH)2. (Concentrated) Calcium Hydroxide qualifies as Health Level 3 on the “Diamond” of the NFPA 704, a standard maintained by the U.S.-based National Fire Protection Association.
Behind it is the even stronger Sodium hydroxide (NaOH), also known as lye and caustic soda, which is a caustic metallic (alkali) base.
So what’s this ”fire diamond” standard? It’s used by emergency personnel to “quickly and easily identify the risks posed by nearby hazardous materials.” Level three indicates that short exposure could “cause serious temporary or moderate residual injury.”
Yikes!
And this chemical is packaged in pretty little pink bottles marked “Apple-licious” all ready for teen girls (and their moms!) to snatch up at the drug store.
All in an effort to look less hairy…for who?
Pathetic.
I often joke that I can’t wait for Alice to go through puberty, so I can buy all the books & take her for a special lunch to explain the “changes” she’s experiencing as she becomes a woman — like all the hair her body will grow — and then hand her a razor and tell her to shave it all off.
Hair signals fertility and our culture is really uncomfortable with this outward sign of matured sex. We denude and therefore reduce ourselves to the pre-pubescent state.
It’s a pretty sad, sick statement on how we view womens’ bodies. But yeah, I do it too. Although not with Nair! Instead I wear the razor bumps and scratches as marks of my castrated feminism.
Lisa: It’s ironic, isn’t it? I couldn’t wait to get the peach fuzz down there and in my pits. I was so excited. Then as soon as it’s there we want to shave it off.
I’m lucky, I suppose. My outward hair has been blonde for the most part. I didn’t even shave above the knee until some guy in college made me feel bad enough to do it.