Judge dread (with a thesaurus)
27 Jun
In the past few weeks, I’ve come up against a few people (including family and friends) who think I am a bit judgmental. I think they’re right. But I also think judgmental gets a bad rap.
It’s one of those words in our society that connotes criticism. Derisiveness. Abuse. Blame.
Blame, perhaps. Criticism, sometimes. But derisiveness? Abuse? No way.
Let me make this perfectly clear. When I judge you, I do not feel contempt. (Though you may hear it that way.)
If anything, I feel frustrated. Or sad. And sometimes defeated.
I don’t call you out to make you feel like shit. (Though you might.)
So what, then?
It’s simple. I am the one with the cojones to tell you that what you’re doing is making you sick. On this platform, I shamelessly ignore the social convention I often follow in real life.
I don’t want a pat on the back for this (unless you are a licensed massage therapist and that pat is followed by a rub and squeeze.) But the next time you’re glaring at the computer screen thinking what a BITCH I am — (As in, “Who the fuck does she think she is?) — ask yourself, “What does she get out of this?” (Hint: The answer does not involve money…though I’m open to that option)
I am not judging you.
I’m stirring your pot.
Bitch.
As a health professional, I love my patients like they were family, but with family there comes both support and challenge. There’s also “tough love”. I will be the first to offer a shoulder to cry on, or a hug, or just a listening ear, but there comes times when I have to challenge patients on their misperceptions or misunderstandings, I can unfortunately hit on some value systems. As long as I lead with love, I think that the relationships remain healthy. Sometimes a conversation does not have benefit until 2-3 years down the line when an event triggers the memory of that conversation and the person finally decides to make the shift.
Omg Jenn. That made me cry.
Eloquent. True.
I’m going to make a copy and carry with me throughout the holidays (after halloween. I’m a whore for hallow’s eve)
Jamie: I’m glad this post resonated with you. Hang in there! There are a lot more folks like us and in five years your friends and family will say, “Man, that’s what Jamie’s been saying for years!” xoxo