Prescription for permission

Sometimes it’s ok to stick what the doctor orders up your ass.

Meaning: Take the little paper from the prescription pad, or the free sample, and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

A less violent, and more eco-friendly version of this tactic would be to respectfully decline the prescription before she hands it to you. Or to give the free sample back to the nurse.

I’m not suggesting you be careless, ignorant, or defiant. I am suggesting, however, that you don’t HAVE to do exactly what your doctor orders every single time he proclaims a medicinal answer to your problem.

Instead, I hereby grant you permission to visit the doctor to have something checked out, and only checked out, not “fixed.”

I hereby grant you permission to see the doctor so you can have your insurance pay for routine bloodwork that you then turnaround and give to your acupuncturist.

I hereby grant you permission to take your child to the doctor to make sure it’s not a bacterial infection, and then say “no thank you” when you are offered antibiotics for what may or may not be viral (and won’t be cured by the penicillin anyhow, but will surely cause a yeast infection.)

I hereby grant you permission to take up more of your doctor’s time than he has allotted.

I hereby grant you permission to ask him to look up the contraindications of a medicine he’s planning on prescribing you.

I hereby grant you permission to say “yes,” “no,” and “maybe” even if it makes you come off as insolent.

I hereby grant you permission to have second thoughts about a test or a medication you are unsure about.

I hereby grant you permission to stand up for yourself or for your loved one in the face of being told you are wrong.

(You might be. Or you might be right.)