The Wellness Bitch

For the amount of time and money I spend at Whole Foods, it would probably make more sense for me to stop blogging and start working there. Between what they’d pay me and the employee discount, I’d be making a great contribution to my strained family budget. Not to mention, I already know the employees and the layout of my local store so well, it wouldn’t take much time for me to transition.

Furthermore, I defend this grocery chain as if I’m related to Whole Foods co-founder John Mackey. I take it personally when people refer to the store as “Whole Paycheck” and I scoff at those who actually think that shopping at Trader Joe’s is comparable. (Clearly they don’t read labels.)

Like any business, particularly forward thinking ones that take risks, Whole Foods is not without its faults. This recent interview with Mackey in USA Today highlights some of the corporation’s biggest blunders in its 30 years, but it also provided a forum for Mackey to answer some burning questions about Whole Foods philosophy. And I have to say, I’m impressed with his answers.

I’m also impressed with his commitment to the lifestyle he sells. He’s a vegan, first off, and when asked: “Wal-Mart now sells more organics than Whole Foods. Does this drive you crazy?” Mackey responds:

They have a lot more stores than we do. … But the fact that Wal-Mart now sells organic food makes me proud. Organic has become mainstream.

Indeed. And in no small part thanks to the efforts and marketing dollars spent by Whole Foods.

Yes, he’s a businessman. And yes, he’s far richer than I.  And yes, there’s probably some PR spin in there. And, no I haven’t hired a private detective to give me the full dirty scoop on John Mackey.

But, I believe this guy wants mainstream America to WAKE UP. Whether they shop at Whole Foods or Wal-mart.

And that’s the kind of guy (and business) I can be proud to be associated with.

(Psst…John Mackey…If you’re reading this and want to hire The Wellness Bitch as your mascot…let’s talk.)

Remember those ads from TheTruth.com? In your face and often shocking, those commercials attempted to educate young people about the dangers of smoking in a way that was much more memorable than the ”Just Say No” drug campaign.

I haven’t seen them in a while so I don’t know if they are still running, but I realized that a similar technique would be a fantastic way to educate parents on the effects of the kind of crap they’re feeding their kids.

THE FOLLOWING COMMERCIAL MESSAGE HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY:

Scene 1: [8-year-old boy eats Fruit by the Foot or some other fake fruit snack]
Scene 2: [Same 8-year-old boy. Now with hair like this: ]

[And eyes bugging out of his head. The boy starts jumping up and down. Then he begins to shake his hands.  His eyes twitch. You think he's doing a cute little dance until he starts bumping into chairs and other nearby children. Then he quite literally starts climbing the walls. He is out of control!]

SCENE 3: WAKE UP CALL!!!! [YOURS TRULY with a bullhorn, perhaps?]

The fact of the matter is, such a commercial would not be far off from the type of marketing crap shown in between your kid’s favorite cartoons. In fact, food companies design commercials with the aim to inspire our children to ask for these snacks…convince them they can possess this type of “high energy” and prowess. Emphasis on possessed.

In this real life commercial below, the kid eats an Airhead and his head explodes. He is, as the announcer narrates, ”extremely out of control.”

Which, if you think about it, is kinda…true.

We’re so excited to welcome Snack Girl to the Wellness Bitch blog today. Are you surprised that someone who blogs about healthy snacks has a beef with McDonald’s? Read on.

How do you get 560 calories into a 16 ounce drink? That takes the talent of a major global corporation: McDonald’s (of course).

The McDonald’s Frappe՛is on billboards, on the radio, on the internet, and I even heard they were giving out FREE ones at my local McD’s.

How is a girl supposed to avoid all that advertising?

I succumbed one day when my kids asked to go to the famous McD’s play space. It is a rare treat, and I get to listen to traffic while they scream delightedly at going down a long covered slide.

Also, I wanted to try this Frappe՛. I figured I needed a coffee and it was my snack time. Usually, my snack time has about 100 to 200 calories depending on how hungry I am and what I had for lunch. When I asked at the counter, they didn’t know how many calories were in the Frappe՛(and they didn’t know what was in it).

It tasted delicious. The mixologists at McDonald’s really know their stuff. When I came home, I checked the calorie content and was absolutely blown away. 560 CALORIES, 24 GRAMS OF FAT, 70 GRAMS OF SUGAR – wow!

Honestly, I thought I was ordering a coffee drink with some added sugar – not a CREAM drink with some added coffee!!!!

The second ingredient in a McD’s Frappe is cream.  I looked on their website. And, it takes talent to get high fructose corn syrup listed 3 times on an ingredient list.

My advice is to stay FAR AWAY from the Frappe and stick with coffee.

Lisa Cain, Ph.D. writes about healthy snacks on Snack-Girl.com. She is a published author, mother of two, and an avid snacker

There’s a lot of discussion and griping about how wellness is only for the wealthy.

That the poor are so desperate to feed their families, that they have no other choice than to buy cheap imitation grape drink and Dollar Store brand cheese doodles. That the poor don’t have the benefit of spending time in Barnes and Noble browsing through Michael Pollan books. That the poor are so tired from working two jobs that they can’t summon up the strength to do more than throw some canned franks and beans into a pot to warm.

I’d like to know how those people– those compassionate champions of the working poor — how do they explain it when middle class Americans…or even upper class americans with nannies and luxury cars …make those same choices? Because they do. I see it all the time.

I walk into a $1 million home to pick up my kid from a playdate and find him eating rainbow goldfish crackers.

I see nannies pushing overweight kids in stroller. And moms in designer shoes handing their two-year-olds mocha frappaccinos to sip on.

I’m not a cold-hearted bitch. But I don’t think eating or living well really takes much money, brains, or higher education. Clearly, if that’s all it took, we wouldn’t be seeing commercials for Abilify, alongside ones for Macy’s One Day Sale.

Hey. Come a little closer. I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

I’m not rich. I put on a good show with my nice house and leased mini-van. My kids in their hand-me-down Old Navy clothes. My mock designer hand bag from Target.

But we’re struggling. We have debt. We count our pennies.

I don’t have the money for a gym membership or a trainer or even to go to weekly yoga classes. I take books out of the library or buy them second hand on Ebay.

But don’t cry for me. And don’t think I’m complaining that my life is so hard.

But, I think that bad lifestyle choices aren’t reserved for the poor.

And it’s about time we stop having that conversation and move on. Frankly, it bores me.

Your sympathy and your outrage would be better spent WAKING UP our government. And our schools. And your neighbors.

You know who I could not be friends with? Ms. Greene, 62, one of the featured holdout smokers in this article in the Sunday New York Times last weekend. She sure does seem like a nice lady though.

“I really try to be a courteous smoker,” Ms. Greene said. “If I’m smoking a cigarette on the street and run into a friend, I won’t have them stand downwind.”

That sounds nice enough, right? Courteousness is definitely a good quality in a friend.

However, the paragraph on Ms. Greene continues:

If someone is visiting her apartment who does not like cigarettes, she does not light one. “I use Febreze all the time,” she said, “on the rugs and on the furniture.”

Man, if the smokes won’t kill her, the Febreze might. I don’t even want to think about the inside of that woman’s lungs.

I don’t really bitch about smokers very often. I think I have a fondness for them, despite the health implications of their habit. I remember what it was like to stand outside my NYC office building, light up, and people watch.  Doesn’t mean I still do it.

She doesn’t know why she smokes. She likes it. What more is there?

I’d feel a lot better about the statement if Ms. Greene was choosing to smoke because she likes it. As opposed to not really knowing why she does it.  So many of the gripes I have with people making bad choices is when they act like they don’t know, as opposed to “don’t care.”

* * * *

Isn’t it amazing how a smear campaign against cigarettes and smokers managed to get a nation to change their habits and accept smoking-related laws that a decade ago would have been laughed out of court?

See what a little shame can do? (That and high taxes.)

What will it take for people to start looking at junk food the same way they view cigarettes? Is it possible that in five, ten years we might see doughnuts banned from the workplace? Sodas chucked out of stadiums?

And, miracles of miracles, Jello and fruit punch eliminated from our school lunches?

We’d hear the same cries of personal freedom and privacy that came out of the mouth of smokers a decade ago. But, if we could hold out…who knows how far we could go?

Epidemic is one of those scary medical words. Make me think of smallpox or avian flu or pus-filled postules.

But, really an epidemic is an illness (or anything really) that is widely prevalent or spreading rapidly.

I first heard the term epidemic used in conjunction with childhood chronic illness when a friend recommended Dr. Kenneth Bock’s book, “Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma & Allergies.” His explanation of why and how these illnesses are becoming epidemic really made sense. And turned me into a bitch on a mission.

I want people to start friggin’ listening to parents who know that something is wrong with their kid.

And I want the people in charge to start taking these epidemics seriously the way they would a mass influenza outbreak. I’m not looking for masks and yellow jackets, per say. But a pamphlet or a PSA would be nice. Or how about a statement from the AMA or the AAP?

Recently, I started reading a new book on the subject: “A Compromised Generation: The Epidemic of Chronic Illness in America’s Children” by Beth Lambert. I’m still only in the introduction, but already the author has shared a really, relevant, and aptly stated WAKE UP CALL:

All children exhibit occasional temper tantrums, hoarding of toys, constipation, and hyperactivity… However, it is not normal when children exhibit any of these symptoms chronically or with particular intensity and severity…

Below is a partial list of the 50 or so symptoms Beth Lambert includes in her book that, if occuring with regularity, should serve as WAKE UP CALLS for parents and practitioners.  So many people I know (including the best and brightest doctors) tell me that the symptoms below are not a big deal. And, as the author says, “because these are normal child behaviors they are often dismissed.” Personally, I have been dismissed by my child’s doctor for colic, IBS, gas, runny stools, heartburn, and eczema.

Which of these symptoms has your child’s doctor pooh-poohed?

• Red cheeks after eating
• Chronic runny nose or cough
• Red or hot ears after eating
• Chronic or recurrent ear infections
• Chronic strep or sinus infections
• Frequent diaper rashes in babies
• Cavities or excessive tartar, or bad breath despite proper dental hygiene
• Dark circles or bags under eyes
• Mood swings
• Tummy aches
• Distended pot belly
• Constipation
• Excessive gas or flatulence
• White coating on the tongue
• Frequent loose stools
• Recurrent urinary tract infections or yeast infections
• Excessive hyperactivity
• Sensory seeking behavior” always looking to crash into people, objects

WAKE UP. All are potential symptoms of a bigger deal. Just because they have become so prevalent, doesn’t mean they are normal.