The Wellness Bitch

For the amount of time and money I spend at Whole Foods, it would probably make more sense for me to stop blogging and start working there. Between what they’d pay me and the employee discount, I’d be making a great contribution to my strained family budget. Not to mention, I already know the employees and the layout of my local store so well, it wouldn’t take much time for me to transition.

Furthermore, I defend this grocery chain as if I’m related to Whole Foods co-founder John Mackey. I take it personally when people refer to the store as “Whole Paycheck” and I scoff at those who actually think that shopping at Trader Joe’s is comparable. (Clearly they don’t read labels.)

Like any business, particularly forward thinking ones that take risks, Whole Foods is not without its faults. This recent interview with Mackey in USA Today highlights some of the corporation’s biggest blunders in its 30 years, but it also provided a forum for Mackey to answer some burning questions about Whole Foods philosophy. And I have to say, I’m impressed with his answers.

I’m also impressed with his commitment to the lifestyle he sells. He’s a vegan, first off, and when asked: “Wal-Mart now sells more organics than Whole Foods. Does this drive you crazy?” Mackey responds:

They have a lot more stores than we do. … But the fact that Wal-Mart now sells organic food makes me proud. Organic has become mainstream.

Indeed. And in no small part thanks to the efforts and marketing dollars spent by Whole Foods.

Yes, he’s a businessman. And yes, he’s far richer than I.  And yes, there’s probably some PR spin in there. And, no I haven’t hired a private detective to give me the full dirty scoop on John Mackey.

But, I believe this guy wants mainstream America to WAKE UP. Whether they shop at Whole Foods or Wal-mart.

And that’s the kind of guy (and business) I can be proud to be associated with.

(Psst…John Mackey…If you’re reading this and want to hire The Wellness Bitch as your mascot…let’s talk.)

We’re so excited to welcome Snack Girl to the Wellness Bitch blog today. Are you surprised that someone who blogs about healthy snacks has a beef with McDonald’s? Read on.

How do you get 560 calories into a 16 ounce drink? That takes the talent of a major global corporation: McDonald’s (of course).

The McDonald’s Frappe՛is on billboards, on the radio, on the internet, and I even heard they were giving out FREE ones at my local McD’s.

How is a girl supposed to avoid all that advertising?

I succumbed one day when my kids asked to go to the famous McD’s play space. It is a rare treat, and I get to listen to traffic while they scream delightedly at going down a long covered slide.

Also, I wanted to try this Frappe՛. I figured I needed a coffee and it was my snack time. Usually, my snack time has about 100 to 200 calories depending on how hungry I am and what I had for lunch. When I asked at the counter, they didn’t know how many calories were in the Frappe՛(and they didn’t know what was in it).

It tasted delicious. The mixologists at McDonald’s really know their stuff. When I came home, I checked the calorie content and was absolutely blown away. 560 CALORIES, 24 GRAMS OF FAT, 70 GRAMS OF SUGAR – wow!

Honestly, I thought I was ordering a coffee drink with some added sugar – not a CREAM drink with some added coffee!!!!

The second ingredient in a McD’s Frappe is cream.  I looked on their website. And, it takes talent to get high fructose corn syrup listed 3 times on an ingredient list.

My advice is to stay FAR AWAY from the Frappe and stick with coffee.

Lisa Cain, Ph.D. writes about healthy snacks on Snack-Girl.com. She is a published author, mother of two, and an avid snacker

There’s a lot of discussion and griping about how wellness is only for the wealthy.

That the poor are so desperate to feed their families, that they have no other choice than to buy cheap imitation grape drink and Dollar Store brand cheese doodles. That the poor don’t have the benefit of spending time in Barnes and Noble browsing through Michael Pollan books. That the poor are so tired from working two jobs that they can’t summon up the strength to do more than throw some canned franks and beans into a pot to warm.

I’d like to know how those people– those compassionate champions of the working poor — how do they explain it when middle class Americans…or even upper class americans with nannies and luxury cars …make those same choices? Because they do. I see it all the time.

I walk into a $1 million home to pick up my kid from a playdate and find him eating rainbow goldfish crackers.

I see nannies pushing overweight kids in stroller. And moms in designer shoes handing their two-year-olds mocha frappaccinos to sip on.

I’m not a cold-hearted bitch. But I don’t think eating or living well really takes much money, brains, or higher education. Clearly, if that’s all it took, we wouldn’t be seeing commercials for Abilify, alongside ones for Macy’s One Day Sale.

Hey. Come a little closer. I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

I’m not rich. I put on a good show with my nice house and leased mini-van. My kids in their hand-me-down Old Navy clothes. My mock designer hand bag from Target.

But we’re struggling. We have debt. We count our pennies.

I don’t have the money for a gym membership or a trainer or even to go to weekly yoga classes. I take books out of the library or buy them second hand on Ebay.

But don’t cry for me. And don’t think I’m complaining that my life is so hard.

But, I think that bad lifestyle choices aren’t reserved for the poor.

And it’s about time we stop having that conversation and move on. Frankly, it bores me.

Your sympathy and your outrage would be better spent WAKING UP our government. And our schools. And your neighbors.

You know who I could not be friends with? Ms. Greene, 62, one of the featured holdout smokers in this article in the Sunday New York Times last weekend. She sure does seem like a nice lady though.

“I really try to be a courteous smoker,” Ms. Greene said. “If I’m smoking a cigarette on the street and run into a friend, I won’t have them stand downwind.”

That sounds nice enough, right? Courteousness is definitely a good quality in a friend.

However, the paragraph on Ms. Greene continues:

If someone is visiting her apartment who does not like cigarettes, she does not light one. “I use Febreze all the time,” she said, “on the rugs and on the furniture.”

Man, if the smokes won’t kill her, the Febreze might. I don’t even want to think about the inside of that woman’s lungs.

I don’t really bitch about smokers very often. I think I have a fondness for them, despite the health implications of their habit. I remember what it was like to stand outside my NYC office building, light up, and people watch.  Doesn’t mean I still do it.

She doesn’t know why she smokes. She likes it. What more is there?

I’d feel a lot better about the statement if Ms. Greene was choosing to smoke because she likes it. As opposed to not really knowing why she does it.  So many of the gripes I have with people making bad choices is when they act like they don’t know, as opposed to “don’t care.”

* * * *

Isn’t it amazing how a smear campaign against cigarettes and smokers managed to get a nation to change their habits and accept smoking-related laws that a decade ago would have been laughed out of court?

See what a little shame can do? (That and high taxes.)

What will it take for people to start looking at junk food the same way they view cigarettes? Is it possible that in five, ten years we might see doughnuts banned from the workplace? Sodas chucked out of stadiums?

And, miracles of miracles, Jello and fruit punch eliminated from our school lunches?

We’d hear the same cries of personal freedom and privacy that came out of the mouth of smokers a decade ago. But, if we could hold out…who knows how far we could go?

On my way to the office this morning, I spotted a woman walking to the train station with a can of diet coke in her hand.

I know if confronted, she’d compare her morning cola to the cup of coffee that her workmates drink. (As long as she didn’t tell me to go fuck myself instead.) And, it’s true: Coffee (particularly the average 7-eleven or Dunkin Donuts variety,with a splenda thrown in) is not that much better at all.

Now that we agree, I really need to WAKE YOU UP to the fact that you are not getting your work day off to a great start with a chemical cocktail of aspartame and caramel color.

Want to know why you’re known as the bitch around the office? Why you feel cranky at 10 am? Perhaps your job sucks. Your boss is an ass, and all that jazz.

But trust me, if you started your day off with sauteed spinach and garlic, with turkey bacon thrown in (like I did!), your shitty job and boss might look just a little bit better.

On my way back from a meeting today, I decided to stop at Elevation Burger for lunch.

Elevation Burger, whose tagline is “ingredients matter,” offers a new kind of fast food. Healthier fast food, if you will.

But will I? I don’t know.

Before I actually stepped inside, I was wooed by its corporate web site and mission. The hipster, earthy, laid back style of the logo invited me in. But once inside, I felt as if I was inside any other yucky fast food joint I frequently bitch about.

True my options were a tiny bit better than they would be at Burger King (who offer veggie burgers, btw). Elevation Burger offers hamburgers made with 100% organic, grass fed beef (as opposed to who knows what kind of meat at BK and McD’s). The french fries are cooked in 100% “heart-healthy” olive oil. But, as for the “elevated experience” the company offers on its web site. Mmm…not so much.

Despite the high post-consumer product content, I still left there with a greasy paper to-go bag in my hand. Despite the bamboo floor and low-VOC paint, I still ate a “meal” prepared in five minutes by a hair-net wearing burger flipper.

While I did not experience the “McDonald’s Effect,” which I can only guess is thanks to the meat grade, I still felt greasy and gross. Ashamed even.

I’m all for corporations catering to the health-conscious, earth-loving crowd. We need more companies to step up to the challenge of feeding the mindful masses. (I’d love me a gluten-free, nut-free, dairy free ice cream parlor. Why is that too much to ask for?)

And I do applaud Elevation Burger for offering a better fast food option. God knows, Americans need baby steps.

But I think the bottom line is that I’m no longer a fast food kinda girl. I’m just not.

Something happened. I flipped.