It took me about five seconds to commit.

Back then, I was a “massage on my birthday” kinda girl. I got my first massage when I was in college; a gift from my parents. It was an uninspiring and painful hour spent in a room off the dark upstairs hallway of the local beauty salon. Fortunately, that experience didn’t turn me off of bodywork forever. I tried a different therapist the following year on my birthday and decided massages were definitely for me.

However, I viewed massage as a luxury item; the second to lowest rung on a ladder that started with pedicures and ended with a Mercedes Benz and a house in the Hamptons. Sure, I giggled with pleasure when my mom would surprise me with a mother/daughter massage appointment or a gift card for my birthday, but I never paid for them on my own and I never considered massage therapeutic or preventative care.

Until Lisa. The story she wanted me to write would feature three of the more “famous” massage therapists in our neck of the woods, and was intended to be a gentle comparison between the three, but mostly a feature on how massage (and bodywork in general) could be integrated into a mother’s wellness regimen. (The core readership of the magazine was local parents.) What were the benefits? How could massage be seen as more than just a well-deserved pampering?

I enjoyed three massages in three weeks. It was pure bliss.

But more than bliss…it was a wake up call.

I realized the true meaning of therapeutic massage. I understood both experientally and intellectually, after interviewing all three, just how much regular bodywork can contribute to our state of well-being.

To be more to the point: Getting a massage, or Reiki, or QiGong Meridian Therapy, or reflexology, or craniosacral therapy can keep you out of the doctor’s office. Or in my case, it could reduce the incidence of migraines; it could alleviate sciatica during pregnancy; it could balance my endocrine system and boost my immune system. It could keep my head and neck moving left to right and lead me to a good night sleep.

It was no accident that the writing assignment was offered to me at a major junction in my life. The moment at which I would choose wellness over illness. It was also around the same time in 2007 that the seeds of Mindful Living NJ were planted; and my journey to educate myself and empower others began.

Today, I’m working towards getting rid of a sinus infection on my own, without the help of antibiotics. I’ve found that antibiotics do me more harm than good (particularly creating major imbalances with yeast in my system), so I try to avoid them whenever possible.

I have been using a nasal wash with saline and grapefruit seed extract. I’ve been drinking Apple Cider Vinegar tea. And I scheduled an appointment with Tamar, who does a combination of bodywork (usually in the water) with the hopes that she could help open up my sinus passages and relieve the tension in my face and head.  My experience with Tamar (which was above and beyond expectations) also made me realize how much my body has suffered without body work since I moved to Israel in December.

When I consider the few contributing factors to why I’ve had more colds and infections since moving here than I’ve had in the last four years in total, I think about the fact that I was getting bodywork on a fairly regular basis — and here I have not been, at all.

Coincidence?

I don’t think so.

I invite you to change your way of thinking about bodywork. Instead of grouping it with the luxury items; the “what I want for my birthday list” or putting it away in the “I will never be able to afford it” file; think of bodywork in the same mindset you consider drinking eight glasses of water a day, or taking your calcium, or exercising, or annual exams. I daresay that regular bodywork, along with a mindful diet and good sleep, kept me out of the physician’s office for four years.

I invite you to make an appointment with a local therapeutic bodyworker.  Not to knock joints like Massage Envy, but I would recommend seeing someone with many years of experience, preferably recommended to you by a friend. I also recommend seeking practitioners through WellnessPossibilities.com, a wellness directory started by my friends Kathy and Dawn.

And last but not least, let me publicly acknowledge the professionals whose hands knew how to heal and who’ve helped my body remember what wellness is: Sue, Diane, Debra, Amy, Maia, Nate, Linda, Andrew, Suhail, Vera,  and any others I may have missed.

Your work is appreciated and valued. Thank you.

I flinched, waiting for it to sting, but it didn’t. I quickly rinsed my eye and felt fine.

Then I thought to myself, “Phew! That would have hurt like a M-ther F-er if that had been Clorox.”

But at least my eyeballs would have been ultra disinfected, right?

I haven’t used a harsh chemical cleaner in about five years. I think in that time, we might have used real bleach once or twice to get at some stubborn mold in our basement. But that’s it. For the most part, I clean with vinegar, baking soda, castile soap,  BonAmi, and a few Ecover products, particularly our dish soap, our floor cleaner, and a multi-purpose spray.

And, guess what?

You won’t believe it.

I promise you are in for a huge surprise.

Ready?

My house is just as clean, if not cleaner, than yours.

Yes, my house, wiped and sprayed with non-toxic, natural or plant-derived substances, is CLEAN.

In fact, I think my house is cleaner now than it’s ever been. Mostly, because now that I know what’s inside all those cleaning products my mom used when I was growing up and I used up until a few years ago (ie. Lysol, Pine Sol, Clorox Disinfecting Wipes, etc.) I think of houses cleaned with those products as DIRTY.

Not the kind of dirty you can see or swipe with your hands across a cabinet, but the kind of dirty the clogs up your lungs when you breathe it in. That makes your asthma worse.

That burns your eyes when it splashes back into them.

Those products no longer “smell clean” to me.

They smell like poison.

I’ve been…reconditioned.

In fact, when I see big, beautiful, perfectly shaped strawberries, and I don’t know where they’ve been grown, I typically stay away from them, particularly since of all fruits and veggies, strawberries are on the top of the Dirty Dozen to eat organic.

This isn’t to say that all irregular looking food is organic or safe. Take “ugly tomatoes” for example. They sure are ugly, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t grown with pesticides.

This morning, as I was preparing to make myself a sunny side up egg for breakfast, I opened up the carton of organic eggs I had just bought from Eden Teva natural foods market. This is what I found:

 Six brown eggs and six white ones. Yes, they do seem to be a bit ordered (they came exactly as you see them in the picture.) But no one decided at the farm or wherever these eggs are packaged that the eggs needed to be uniform. No one decided that organic eggs needed to look brown or look white. No one indicated on the outside of the packaging that these eggs may be discolored or may be mismatched. All the packaging really says (save for 12 Organic Eggs”) is “Laid by hens free to move, perch, rest and feed.”

Weren’t they worried that when I opened up the carton to make sure the eggs weren’t cracked (which I didn’t since I wasn’t the one to go food shopping this time), that I would put these mismatched eggs back on the shelf?

No, they weren’t. Because educated, organic food shoppers expect their food to look like food, not like advertisements.

I am a work in progress. I am a WELLNESS BITCH in progress.

A few of the areas in which I still need to work hard include “kicking my nasty sugar habit,” “giving up coffee forever,” and a very broad category known as “getting in shape.”

I am fit for many things. I am fit to eat a chocolate chip cookie. I am fit to write a blog. I am fit to talk smack about doctors, Big Pharma, and the FDA.

But I am not fit.

I am certainly not fit to ride my bike, which I just had fitted for new tires yesterday. My bike hasn’t seen the light of day in six years, since we moved from Tucson, Arizona to Northern New Jersey. This morning, however, with the sun shining here in Israel and the streets finally dry after a week of heavy rain, I hopped on my Huffy and rode like the wind down my street. What a glorious feeling…until it was time to pedal uphill.

[Oh. My. God. I. Can't. Breathe. When. Did. I. Become. An. Old. Lady?????!!!!!???]

Through sheer will (and the prospect of humiliation) I made it up the very steep hill. Not without feeling the heavy burn in my lungs and trembling in my legs following years of inactivity.

WAKE UP CALL: You can eat right. You can even look thin and young. But neither of these means you are healthy or fit. If my life depended on running a mile in ten minutes, I’d surely be dead….within the first five minutes or so.

Here’s a good way to know. Do you find yourself saying one or more of the following sayings on a daily base to one or more of your family members?

“When’s the last time you had some protein?”

“What kind of bellyache? Gas? Crampy? Diarrhea?”

“No, you already had a sugary treat today.”

“Yes, turkey is protein.”

“No, avocado is not gluten.”

“Yes, that soup has MSG.”

“Is it organic?”

“Does it have nuts? Sesame? Gluten?”

“Did you read the label before you ate that?!? Did someone read the label?!? Who read the label???!!!”

You, my friend, are among the burdened, and often despised members of the League of Familial Food Dictators.

You are seen as a freak. As a nut. As a domineering and controlling parent. As a difficult and high-maintenance family member. 

Do not fear, my fellow dictators. There will come a time in the not-so-distant future when our family members thank us for our efforts, for our leadership, and for our commitment to their health, well-being, and safety.

One day, our children (and our children’s children) will see and understand that we were only trying to protect them; our spouses will see we were only trying to help them feel energized and content; our parents and siblings will see we only had their best interest in mind.

One day, we will live in a world where our efforts will be seen as appropriate and socially acceptable.

Until then, my friends, take care. While you are an often unacknowledged and misuderstood leader, you are not alone.

We stand together with you.

Sincerely,

The League of Familial Food Dictators

In addition to the relentless marketing on packaging for “family-friendly” food and in commercials aimed at kids on channels like Nick and Cartoon Network, I also feel pressured by end caps and front of store, eye-level offerings at CVS, Walgreen’s, Target, and other stores where I frequently bring my kids.

You want to sell me something as I’m making my way out of your store?

Don’t distract me with having to yell, “No” at my kids 1000 times. I just might buy the travel pack of tissues or hand wipes you’re selling by the register if I wasn’t trying to hurry my kids past the Skittles and bubble gum.

I’m not offended by the indecent photos on the cover of Vogue or even the headlines on the cover of Cosmo, but I am big-time pissed at you for making me a meanie in the eyes of my children.

Rethink your marketing strategy. Crunch the numbers and let me know how much money you make from all those impulse Twix buys.

Is it really worth it?

I like to think of myself as a realist with lofty goals.

It’s likely that you found your way to The Wellness Bitch because you had a WAKE UP CALL. Whether that WAKE UP CALL came in the form of illness or education or a frightening documentary, you’re here because you know that it’s time for you to take charge of your health.

One way the folks in charge like to pooh-pooh what we realists with lofty goals have to say about the alarming trend of new epidemics in this country is that the statistics aren’t there to support our alarm.

I’d like to prove those folks wrong. I want to get the Powers That Be to pay attention.

I’ll need your help, though.  Let’s tell the Powers That Be that:

We are the numbers. And we are NOT JUST numbers.

Is someone you love one of our numbers? One of us who have been impacted by chronic illness?

One of us who was told by a doctor that there was nothing wrong? Or nothing to be done?

If you are or know someone who is “one of us,” forward this blog post to them.

Ask them to read it, and if they feel inspired to action, to copy/paste the following statement in the comments section below:

 ”Powers That Be: I’m a number. I’m part of the alarming trend of new food- and environment-related illness. And I’m more than just a number. I’m someone you need to pay attention to.”

And then tell us what condition you suffer from. Feel free to add any personal message you want to send to the Powers That Be. For example, “Stop poisoning our kids with food dyes. Follow Europe’s example and get them out of our food supply.” Or, “If you want to be a true superpower, start paying attention to what other countries are doing to protect their citizens.”

Because there is power in our numbers. And before long, we will be the Powers That Be.

Here’s my powerful truth:

I’m a wellness bitch.

And, this Thanksgiving, I’m grateful for my allergies, IBS, and anxiety – symptoms that served as my WAKE UP CALLS.

I’m thankful for my kids whose reflux, food allergies, asthma, and eczema inspired me to WAKE UP others.

I forgive those who do not know our struggle and invite you to join with us now that you know we exist.

We are:

Addison’s disease
ADHD
Anxiety
Asperger’s
Autism
Asthma
Back pain
Cancer
Celiac disease
Chronic fatigue
Childhood obesity
Chronic pain
Coronary heart disease
Crohn’s disease
Depression
Diabetes
Ear infections
Eczema
Fibromyalgia
Food allergies
Food intolerance
Hashimoto’s Syndrome
Headaches
Heartburn
Hypothyroidism
Hyperthyrodism
IBS
Infertility
Lung disease
Lupus 
Migraines
Psoriasis
Reflux
Rheumatoid arthritis
Ulcerative colitis

We are the WAKE UP CALLS for the ones who will come after us.

We are numbers. And we are more than just numbers.

Is this information bad news, though, for those of us who are already married?

As a woman in my mid-thirties I already feel like I missed the gravy train that is college girl-on-girl experimentation followed by two years living at home feasting off my parents good will before casually setting off for the real world as a volunteer for Teach For America.

Back in my day (she says in her old lady voice), kids in their young twenties with new college degrees were expected to walk away from graduation day with a full-time paying job already lined up.  For me and my fellow college grads, there was no time to chill out or rave hop or kiss your best friend. (Thanks a lot Bill Clinton years!)

And now they’re telling me too little too late that marriage is obsolete? I’m already ten years and three kids in! With conjoined debt and emotional baggage and 20 CD-ROMS labeled “family photos!” Sheesh.

So, you want to know, how is this tied into wellness?

Honey, WAKE UP CALL, if you think your marriage is separate and complete from your health and wellness, you better read Tara Parker Pope‘s book “For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage” or at least start with her Well column for The New York Times. She tends to blog a lot about marriage there, too.

The state of your marriage actually says a lot about your well-being. And the state of your health has a lot to do with your marriage.

It seems obvious. An unstable marriage = more stress = declining health. But, somehow people miss it. Or ignore it. Or deny it.

I’m amazed by how many people I know who have tight bodies from working out with killer trainers and eating strict diets, but whose marriages are dead in the water.

If only they spent as much time working on their marriage as they did working on their abs.

Or others who complain of constant headaches and weight gain and frequent colds, and in the same sentence complain about their wife…I wonder if they ever noticed the connection.

I have a lot to say on the topic of marriage, and I honestly don’t know if I fall into the 39 percent who believe the institution is obsolete.

What I do know is that you need to pay as much attention to your relationship as you do your calorie intake.

Or else you’re going to end up sick.

You. The person who spends hours on the computer reading health, food and fitness blogs, but won’t show up in real life?

You. The mom who asks a million questions a day on Urban Mom, but won’t leave her house after dark to show up to an event where those questions might actually be answered?

You. The person who sits at home watching “Iron Chef America,” instead of trying out the “Cooking with Healing Spices” seminar at your local community center?

Where ARE you?

Where ARE you when the expert comes to the local health food store to talk about matters that are relevant to you and your family?

Where ARE you when there is a FREE Reiki Circle?

And, where ARE you when you’re invited to a panel discussion with wellness practitioners hosted at your church or synagogue?

Or a holistic health fair with FREE chair massage?

Or a FREE yoga for charity demonstration?

If all the people with undiagnosed chronic illness…

If all the people who parent children with…

If all the people who spend all their time bitching away on message boards and on Facebook fan pages actually came to REAL-LIFE, in person events, you might actually have one-on-one face time with someone who can answer your questions.

If all the people who complain that preventative wellness is too expensive actually picked up their pocketbooks and carried them to the FREE or low-cost community wellness events, they might have the conversation with someone who will change their life.

A conversation. Free. 

A wellness fair or workshop. $10

Finally meeting the person who has the solution to what ails you? Priceless.

The resources are out there. I know because I’m the person organizing these kinds of events.  Or sponsoring them. Or speaking at them. Or attending them. But I’m in the minority.

Where ARE you?

As someone who tries hard to make those resources available to you in an accessible, non-confrontational way, I have a simple request:

Show up.

Get off your butt. Leave your house. And show up.

Not all the time. But some time.

Show up. Try something new. Ask a question.

Show up. Just once. Show up.

RSVP. Bring a friend. Take a chance.

Show up.

Sometimes that’s all it takes.

My name is Alex Rinehart. I am a health professional and I do not have health insurance.

While this might not be your typical AA meeting, please do not judge as I start my own 12-step program:

1. Profess congruency to a philosophy of health where it counts most – my wallet
2. Commit personal responsibility for my own health through diet and lifestyle
3. Scour social media and the internet to find trustworthy health professionals, rather than first checking to see who participates in my plan
4. Spend $400 a month on fresh, organic produce and grass-fed, hormone-free meat
5. Spend $50 a month on a gym membership (and actually use it)
6. Pay for herbs and supplements that meet my individual needs with little worry for side effects and polypharmacy
7. Refuse to spend $330 a month for an insurance policy that still charges a high deductible and co-pay to a 25 year old in great health (while still not covering preventive services)
8. Charge a reasonable cash-per-service fee for my own health services
9. Refuse to play an insurance game that underserves both provider and patient
10. Spend $1 on prevention today to save $3-4 in future treatment (that others pay through higher taxes and higher prices of goods & services)
11. Pay reasonable fees ($25-40/month) for accident insurance to protect me (and my family) from emergency expenses in case of unforeseen injury
12. Seek a tax-friendly, high-deductible Health Savings Account (HSA)-eligible plan, that makes more sense than “settling” with a basic HMO-plan still charges $110/month for coverage I don’t want (when paying out of pocket has cost me historically $80/month out of pocket)

A Brief History Lesson

The American health insurance industry has its roots in 1929, the year of the stock market collapse and beginning of the Great Depression. This was after the “Roaring 20′s” – an economic golden age.

As people were watching their money much more closely (and thus not visiting the hospital), a nearby hospital found a way to attract more patients.

A group of teachers at Baylor University got together and paid the hospital a sum of money in advance so that they could receive full hospital care. Within 10 years, 1300 covered individuals turned into 3 million covered and the company we now know as Blue Cross Blue Shield was born.

That early system has since evolved into the managed care mess we see today. Insurance companies, rather than physicians, now “manage” what care is covered, what the price is going to be, and who (up until Obama) can be denied because of “preexisting conditions.”

The overwhelming focus in the medical-insurance industry has been periodic “screening” and “check-ups”, while only covering treatment deemed “medically necessary” by computerized algorithms. Great for business and defeating early diseases like polio, but a poor model for creating wellness.

Wellness is a Verb

Wellness is about eating well, moving well, and thinking well.

I can’t help but make comparisons to 1929. We’re in the middle of a recession following a golden age of the Bush tax-cuts — a period where more millionaires were created than any other time in known history. Increasing access to an expensive and failing system, looks great on paper, but will do little to fix our enormous health problems.

Wellness is needed more than ever. But we need to overcome our addictions, and it just might take a 12-step program to get there.

Through his NJ practice at CoActive Health, Alex Rinehart’s commitment to mind/body/spirit integration is emphasized by working in partnership with his patients to achieve wellness, with specialized services to support chronic conditions.